Aesthetic Realism Online Library Poetry by Eli Siegel


 
 
    Must I Wait All My Life; or, The Misery Song

          (Uncouth-and-not Anthem of the Particular and
          General Unconscious)

    Must I wait all my life for a certain thing to happen? 
    Must I spend all my days just in dozin', just in nappin'? 
    Isn't there to be a fire? Won't some color come? 
    Am I blind? have I no luck? am I just plain dumb? 
    Must I wait all my life for a certain person's comin'? 
    Will I die, my life gone, and still a love tune hummin'? 
    Is my life to be empty? Won't some real love come in it? 
    Is my life just to be one grey minute after minute? 
    God, I could scream. God, I could tear myself to pieces-
    I'm the boredest human of the whole damn human species. 
    I could bite, I could cry, I am hell tired of waitin'-
    When the Lord made me he did some bum creatin'. 
    I listen for a sound but all I do is listen; 
    What other people get it always seems I'm missin'. 
    I'm in a deep unhappy ditch, I'm as miserable as sin. 
    Must I wait all my life for life just to begin? 

From Hot Afternoons Have Been in Montana: Poems (Definition Press)
© 1957 by Eli Siegel

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