Aesthetic Realism Online Library Poetry by Eli Siegel

Must I Wait All My Life; or, The Misery Song

(Uncouth-and-not Anthem of the Particular and General Unconscious)

 

Must I wait all my life for a certain thing to happen? 

Must I spend all my days just in dozin', just in nappin'? 

Isn't there to be a fire? Won't some color come? 

Am I blind? have I no luck? am I just plain dumb? 

Must I wait all my life for a certain person's comin'? 

Will I die, my life gone, and still a love tune hummin'? 

Is my life to be empty? Won't some real love come in it? 

Is my life just to be one grey minute after minute? 

God, I could scream. God, I could tear myself to pieces—

I'm the boredest human of the whole damn human species. 

I could bite, I could cry, I am hell tired of waitin'—

When the Lord made me he did some bum creatin'. 

I listen for a sound but all I do is listen; 

What other people get it always seems I'm missin'. 

I'm in a deep unhappy ditch, I'm as miserable as sin. 

Must I wait all my life for life just to begin?